I don’t have an ass.
It’s simply a fact of my life. It’s also something I always assumed could not be helped with a quality pair of jeans. No matter what, jeans would stretch, and I’d inevitably get that oh-so-flattering saggy backside.
Then one day I tried on a pair of jeans that actually fit, a pair that was durable and expertly dyed, and despite having never spent $200 on jeans, I made the nail-biting decision to go ahead and do it. And then something happened–I sorta became kind of addicted.
It’s somewhat strange to think that some people scoff at buying expensive denim when we wear jeans every day. Or, almost every day. A good pair of jeans, it can be argued, deserves no less investment than a bag or a pair of shoes, yet many women are willing to spend more on those things. Is it for vanity’s sake? Are we really just hoping we’ll magically lose ten pounds and get to buy jeans with a more desirable waist size in a month or two? Or do we just hate the humbling process of physically trying on jeans?
I offer up some advice for those who don’t wish to spend money on denim: Stop it. Your ass will thank you.
Stop buying your jeans at H&M. I know they’re $30. They also look like they’re $30.
Choosing to take the plunge and buy premium denim will end up being one of the best decisions of your life–totally up there with things like career choice and the decision to marry your spouse (actually even better, because obvi only time will tell with the latter). Just don’t be stupid with your credit card–buy a pair, then pay them off. And repeat, and repeat…you can, like, totally build credit this way.
You know how you can try on the same size jean in the same brand and style and have it fit differently in different colors? Yeah, this doesn’t happen with those.
Hip-huggers and low waists were some of the worst things to happen when it comes to flattering the female body–try a mid-rise waist that will give some lift to that butt and eliminate muffin top. These are by far the most flattering things my ass has ever had the privilege of wearing.
The name says it all. J Brand is known for stretching a little, but not in an unflattering way. You’ll be comfortable while still looking amazing. Plus, there are low-rise and mid-rise waists available (the mid-rise is always more forgiving).
The ankle version of this jean is one of my favorite things I’ve purchased in the past two months–and a great price for jeans that fit like a glove and keep their shape wear after wear. Plus, you can choose from an array of beautiful and unique colors–not to mention two different inseams.