Halloween Costumes That Aren’t Slutty

Halloween is my favorite holiday.  As a creative little girl who’s always had a flair for the dramatic, what could I possibly love more than pretending to be something else?

The options are endless; the creative opportunity, vast.  It’s a holiday that celebrates reinvention and imagination and appeals to those who are drawn to the dark and foreboding.

So if the options are endless, why do girls feel obligated to make their costumes “sexy?”  Are they trying to say that if they could be anything in the world, it wouldn’t really matter what, so long as it was slutty?  Is Halloween really just the purging of a year of sexual repression/inhibition?  Am I reading too much into this?

However the trend started, I’m fairly certain it turned into an expectation, an obligation girls felt they had in order to measure up to every other girl.  After all, who’s going to talk to you at the bar on Halloween when you’re in a full-on gorilla suit and every other girl is in lingerie?

There’s certainly nothing wrong with wanting to look sexy, if you’re doing it because you want to and not out of expectation or obligation.  But based on some of the costumes I’ve seen on Halloweens past, it seems the only requisite for being considered “sexy” is wearing underwear in public.  I must have a different idea of what’s sexy.

But I’m goofy.  I’m weird.  I choose to look at Halloween as more than an opportunity to wear lingerie.

So if this year you’re looking to avoid annoying boys buying you drinks (who needs free booze, anyway?)–if being unsexy is totally appealing to you–here are some costumes to consider.

1. Bananas in Pajamas

banana in pajamas adult halloween costume

For the girl who’s afraid of looking silly by herself.

You’ll need: Banana costume; pajamas of your choosing; willing participant. (Or, if you’re feeling fancy/want to hide your face, go all out with the mascot costume).

2. Creepy Hipster Animal

vice hipster animal masks

For the girl who scrolls Lookbook.nu on the daily.

You’ll need: An animal mask and an Urban Outfitters wardrobe. (Check out Vice’s gallery of hipsters in animal masks for inspiration. Also, Tumblr).

3. Ghost

homemade ghost costume

For the girl who doesn’t want to look like she’s trying.

You’ll need: A white sheet.

4. Flasher

a.l.c. lindstam trench coat

For the girl who knows she’ll probably feel slutty later in the night.

You’ll need: A trench coat/over coat. The rest is up to you.

5. Cow

adult cow costumes halloween

For the girl who just DGAF.

You’ll need: A cow costume–and there are plenty to choose from: “I’m goofy,” “I need love and attention,” “I’m still trying to maintain some semblance of cool.”

Happy haunting.

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